cast_iron_bitch | (no subject)

(no subject)

Laurent stepped away from his library and the sleeping boy within it and went to the washroom, splashing cold water on his face. He felt at once too warm and chilled, and he stared at his reflection in the mirror. His eyes were too bright, and the color too high in his cheeks. He did not look calm, certainly not to one who knew him as well as Nicaise.

Breathing deeply, Laurent checked on the pallet of cushions once more and went to the kitchen to pour himself some water. His phone still lay where he had left it after ordering dinner. Laurent picked it up. For a moment, merely looking at Damen's name in his list of contacts calmed him.

It was ridiculous, of course. Damen would not care for this arrangement one bit, especially after that business with his own house guest. Still, Laurent was in tangles, and after a moment more he accessed his messaging system.

After a rough start, his fingers acclimated to the touchscreen keys, and Laurent began a message.

Why did your people build Ios on the sea?

Laurent sent the note, then frowned.

A sentry city would have done just as well, leaving you to safeguard your capital in the inland mountains.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

His sympathy for the boy wavered some in that moment, eyes narrowing before Laurent's words caught his attention.

He stepped away then with a nod, quietly heading to the opposite corner of the room though he kept Nicaise within eyesight. There was no telling where next the child might find a stabbing implement nor how far or how accurately he might be able to throw.

'Were you not going to tell me?' he asked once they were several feet away, though he kept his voice low. 'Or was it be a discovery for tomorrow?'

It seemed they had similar ideas, for Laurent kept Nicaise in his vision also, though surely for different reasons. At Damen's question, laurent looked up. 'Is that truly your first concern?' he asked. Nicaise had been in his custody for no more than hours. Laurent had only just secured him a meal, but not clothes, not a bed. There was so much left to do.

'Of course I intended to tell you.' Laurent took a careful breath through his nose. 'I assume then that your reaction to his presence is not favorable.'

Once again, Laurent was being careful with his words. Though hardly uncharacteristic, his care this evening was in a far different manner than Damen had seen in some months. He was controlled, almost guarded, in a way that had become rare.

And that alone was enough to still his temper.

'No one is brought here by choice,' he said instead, keeping his voice carefully calm. 'And as he is your countryman, it would be hypocritical of me to be upset you've taken him in. If I am at all unfavorable, it is to the child's inherent demeanor, not his mere presence here.'

Laurent listened with his back held very straight. Despite what he knew of Damen and Nicaise, or rather, because of what he knew, Laurent couldn't yet predict if there was to be a fight, but he softened somewhat as Damen did.

'He is more than my countryman,' said Laurent quietly. 'We are kin in ways I have not disclosed, at least not to you in this version of the world. I don't wish to be secretive,' Laurent added by way of apology, 'But he is alive again. I owe it to him to ensure he stays that way, Damen. And I like him.'

Laurent's gaze flickered back to the table. 'Though I cannot blame you if you do not.'

And still, Laurent was hiding something. Unlike so many times before, it didn't feel malicious this time. Rather that he was revealing a glimpse at something he might share in time even if that time was not now. Indeed, his words seemed to imply that he'd at least shared it with the other version of Damen, the one who truly had his heart.

'I have yet to understand why,' Damen remarked, following Laurent's gaze over to the boy as he ate the food Laurent had provided.

He sighed then, frown still curving his lips. 'Is he to stay with you long?'

Laurent felt the urge to straighten again, but this time he ignored it. Not even the most excellent posture was likely to help him weather this storm. 'They named me his legal guardian,' he said, then, 'If they had not, I would have petitioned for it. He can't go back to the children's home, Damen. I know you believe him full of artifice, and he is, but those cuts on his wrists were made with a singular purpose, and it was not attention.'

The ways of this world were still strange to Damen, but Laurent had taken to them easily, adapting and growing into this strange culture and stranger laws in a manner that hardly seemed fathomable. The fact that, in only a matter of days, Laurent had positioned himself as this boy's guardian was hardly surprising.

And yet still Damen felt his mouth fall open.

'So, he's to stay here indefinitely,' he said, the banking fire under his skin sparking anew. 'Where? In your room? Might I remind you how livid you were over Erasmus's presence within my rooms? And that was a matter of weeks.'

'In my study,' answered Laurent, almost grateful for the sudden heat in Damen's eyes. Rage could make one so volatile, yet in this instance Laurent felt strengthened by it, held up where his own nerves were slowly failing him as the day's trials marched on.

'And Erasmus is a man, and your sexual ideal, trained from birth to please you. It is not the same. You turned him out - he is now making his own life for the first time. If I turn this boy out, his only recourse is the children's home, and they did a piss poor job of looking after him. Will you have me send him back?'

Laurent lifted his chin. His voice remained soft, but it was laser sharp. 'Look at his wrists, Damen.'

Damen did not need to look at the boy's wrists, nor did he need to argue. Yes, the situation was different, that he could acknowledge. But just as Laurent had been uncomfortable stepping foot in his dwelling while Erasmus had been sharing with him, so would Damen feel uncomfortable sharing a space with a boy who so vehemently despised him.

'Do not believe for a second the boy at that table would not eat Erasmus alive if given opportunity. He may be several years younger, but he was not raised the same.' It did not make Nicaise any less of a child, but there was an innocence to Erasmus, despite his training, that Damen felt ought not be ignored.

He forced himself to quiet, to take a breath. He would not react to Laurent's calm with anger, particularly as his worries for the boy were not entirely unjustified.

'Am I to be pleased by this?' he managed after a moment. 'You have essentially adopted a child, your uncle's pet. And I know you feel responsible for him, Laurent, but do you have any idea of what you're doing? Do you think he'll hate you any less here than he did there?'

'On the contrary,' said Laurent, 'He was not raised at all.' He looked away then, studying the texture of the wall beyond Damen's shoulder while he gathered his thoughts. He was very good at pretending he knew what to do. Oftentimes, it was true enough, and when it wasn't Laurent was excellent at feigning control, but the downside was that he was often expected to simply, correctly handle a situation that was completely out of his depth.

'If he hates me,' he said, 'Then I deserve it, but I don't believe he does. He stood before the most powerful man in Vere and pleaded for me, and he lost his head because of it.' Laurent paused, looking back at Damen.

'I know it cannot make you happy. I am sorry for it, for making you happy is one of few pleasures in my life.' He straightened. 'I will accept whatever sanctions you wish to place on our relationship because of it.'

Even now, Damen wanted to know how Laurent knew that to be true. He had not been witness to Nicaise's death and knowing what little of the Regent as he did, Damen would just as easily assume that Nicaise was killed solely to manipulate his nephew into believing whatever he pleased. Laurent was not easily duped, that much was true; both he and the Regent had minds Damen could scarcely understand or keep up with.

There was still a rawness to Laurent's words, however. A vulnerability Damen understood Laurent still anxious to reveal.

'Sanctions,' he replied, brow furrowed. 'You mean such as the ones you placed when I was housing Erasmus? I'll admit, his presence within your dwelling will make me less eager to spend time with you here if only because I fear both for the state of my thighs as well as the durability of your cutlery.' He paused then, still watching Laurent carefully, something low in his stomach twisting uncomfortably. 'Are you expecting an ultimatum?'

Laurent lowered his eyes. 'I don't know,' he admitted. 'This is the only romantic relationship I have ever navigated. But I know I cannot give him up to that children's home.'

He had the urge to wrap his arms around himself, a thought that Laurent canceled, for Damen was right. He had for all intents and purposes adopted a child. He had Nicaise to think of, who still sat alone and eating, absorbing the fact that he shared a room with one of Vere's most hated enemies. He must appear strong, even as something within him twisted and ached at the turmoil in Damen's expression. 'He won't be as he was at home. Not forever.'

For as strange as it seemed, Laurent appeared truly lost in that moment. Helpless in a way Damen had never before seen. His frown deepened as he quelled the urge to reach for Laurent's hand, all too aware of the boy in just the other room who still saw him as a vile enemy.

'That is nothing you can promise,' he said, his voice quieter once more. 'Nor should you. But I will not make you choose between him or me - I just ask that you consider the commitment you're making. Who's to say he won't bring another blade to his wrists? How are you to prevent that?'

Again came the urge to hold himself, and again Laurent quashed it, even as he forced himself to admit for a second time, 'I don't know.' Still, he felt a stirring of hope. Damen's concerns were not truly of bodily harm to himself. They were concern for Laurent's ability to handle Nicaise, which was concern for Nicaise himself, however contemptible he found Damen.

'I have much to learn in a very short time,' said Laurent. 'But he is not the only person in this room to be cast into such darkness at a tender age. I believe I understand him. And I must try.'

The longer they spoke, the smaller Laurent seemed to become. Though he was still standing, something in his stature had weakened, had quieted, and Damen felt a great weight of guilt drop in his stomach. For he knew exactly of the darkness Laurent referred to. After all, it had been Damen who plunged him into it.

Pulling in a slow breath, Damen took a step back.

'Then I will not impede,' he said. 'But, child or otherwise, if he makes a move to harm you, he will have me to answer to.'

Whatever Laurent had expected of this moment, whatever he had hoped, it was nothing so great as what he actually received, and Laurent took his first free breath in long moments.

'And I pledge you the same,' he answered. Nicaise could not be collected enough yet to have designs on any of them, but he wouldn't tolerate violence against Damen. 'Thank you, Damen.'

Laurent stood a little straighter then, his shoulders back as he met Damen's gaze.

Not so very long ago at all, Damen would have doubted Laurent's sincerity, would have assumed Laurent's allegiance to this boy would easily supersede whatever he might feel for Damen. But Laurent's words felt nothing short of a vow and all too clearly he could hear Laurent's voice from months ago in the back of his mind, a voice nearly begging Damen to trust him.

And so he would.

'I should still leave,' he decided, quieter once again as he glanced toward the other room. 'I don't believe my presence here is making anything easier for either of you.'

'For him, surely not,' agreed Laurent, allowing himself the simple pleasure of taking in Damen's profile when he looked away. It was a small thing, yet after such a volatile day, the sturdy line of Damen's jaw was refreshing to Laurent's spirits.

'Still, I am glad for your presence, brief though it must be today. Nicaise,' Laurent continued in a louder voice. 'Our guest is taking his leave.'

"Good riddance!" came Nicaise's fluting voice across the way, his tone faux cheerful. He still sat at the table, slowly eating, but mostly pushing the food around and silently sulking.

The tone in the boy's reply hardly came as a surprise, but Damen barely even rolled his eyes. Laurent's words had done well enough to calm any lingering worry and he focused his attention there once again.

'Message if you need me,' he said, his words meant only for Laurent as he stepped in closer and finally curled a hand loosely around Laurent's lower arm.

With only some hesitation then, he leaned in to press a kiss to Laurent's lips, keeping it quick and chaste before pulling back once more, gaze drifting to Nicaise as he headed for the door. 'I'll see you soon,' he said, one hand on the doorknob before a small smile curved his lips and he added, 'Good luck.'

Laurent wanted to seize Damen's arm and beg him not to leave. He wanted to close his eyes and deepen the kiss. He wanted to keep them closed and pretend this day had never begun. He let himself experience each desire in turn, and then he set them all aside, nodding at Damen as he made to go.

'I'll call on you tomorrow,' he promised.

It was bad enough to discover Laurent was friends with the Prince-killer, but to see with his own eyes that they were also lovers stunned him. There had been talk at the palace, jokes, that Laurent had been fucking his pet, though Nicaise did not really believe them, nor had he attached them to now.

It was not a forced kiss, or a sensual kiss, but something fond. Intimate without being overt.

Nicaise pushed his plate away, and once Damianos had left, he looked to Laurent. "He killed your brother," he said, caught between a question and statement.

Damen disappeared with a clicking of the lock, and Laurent felt rather than heard Nicaise's inevitable question. He turned and made his way back to the table, reclaiming his seat across from Nicaise and his half eaten plate.

'Do you think I had forgotten?'

Nicaise made a sour face, eyes tracking Laurent's movements. This new reality seemed to be at odds with everything Nicaise used to know as truth. But then, so much of what he'd already experienced here had turned the life he'd known on its head.

"I guess anything is possible, here. There are no kingdoms, pets are illegal, you are fucking Vere's enemy, what next? Animals can speak?"

'Not to my knowledge,' answered Laurent, 'Though in this place far stranger things have happened.' He wrapped his hand around his now empty water glass, thumb sweeping absently against the smooth surface.

'At the time of your death,' he said, 'Damianos was indeed Vere's enemy. But at the time of my arrival here, he had helped me to conquer the Regent once and for all. Because of him, Vere is returned to me. Because of me, Akielos is returned to Damianos. Our intent was to unify the kingdoms.'